Today is Christmas and we are at 33 weeks now! A year ago today, saying that was only a desire burning inside my heart as I sat beside the tree. I can hardly believe how close we are getting to our baby’s arrival. As we get closer, I’ve begun to experience some fear and anxiety…just little snippets of it. I’ve had many thoughts and questions about what kind of parent I’ll be. In the beginning of my pregnancy I stayed away from the parenting books because I wanted to enjoy this journey of experiencing this miracle called pregnancy…yet the time has gone by so quickly that I’ve hardly had enough time to even pick those books up. There is still plenty of time to read, but the real deal is coming in about 7 weeks. My happiness about the opportunity to see these little feet that are kicking me is now coupled with a desire to slow down, enjoy the now, and find something, anything to calm my fears and show me all the “proper” ways to handle a newborn baby.
This past week, I’ve been pondering why Jesus was sent as a baby. My baby is certainly not the savior of the world….but in the midst of my fear I have been searching for comfort. Looking for comfort in how Mary must have felt bringing a baby into the world and also why Jesus was sent as a baby in the first place. What does that teach us? As I have been looking for this answer, God has been slowly giving me answers and pieces of comfort. It’s been everywhere! I’ve heard it in the songs people have shared on Facebook, I’ve heard it through quiet times at home and last night; I heard it through the message at our Christmas eve service at church. The answer I have found is not only that did He come as a baby to be fully human and relate to us as so, but also because we are not perfect. Jesus came as a perfect and innocent baby in the midst of an imperfect world and neither could cancel each other out. It’s so comforting to me to know that our baby will come as this perfect God given being and nothing about our imperfection will take that away…at least in the beginning. I’m sure we will fail and stumble many times over, but by God’s grace we will also care, love, and experience something more perfect and God given than we could have ever imagined.
What a beautiful understanding and gift to be reminded that God came as perfection to save us from our imperfect selves and He didn’t come as a loud and powerful bolt of thunder or a gigantic king that would show us the way. He came as a baby with innocent and perfect love. He knew that would change our hearts more than anything else.
On this Christmas morning I realize that having our baby might just be the closest to God we will ever be. What comfort. What a miracle.
Thanks to my friend Amy for sharing this video yesterday. You were a piece of God speaking to me 
