This morning, despite our recent successes in sleep training, we found our 4-year-old in the middle of our bed when we awoke this morning. Somehow, now that it doesn’t happen as often it seems sweeter. My husband whispered over, “He’s so snuggly.” And he is!
Our boy is love and affection waiting to happen. I told my husband of how he talked me into opening the mother’s day gift and card he had made me at pre-school. He was so excited, my heart broke to say now. He sat on my lap and enthusiastically nudged me to open the sugar scrub, saying, “touch it, mommy! It feels comfortable!”
We touched it together and oohed and aahed. Then he gave me the biggest and sweetest hug and he sighed a comfortable sigh that told me he loved that feeling, and in that moment, I loved and felt loved.
All this brought to my memory a conversation that I had a day prior with a friend. We were talking about how different people just desire more affection. The conversation turned towards my affectionate toddler and how he kisses me on the mouth. We talked about how one day this would change. It was in this conversation that I had a moment that I realized how one day his affections would turn from loving me to the most to loving another woman. As sad as it made me think of this, I knew it was a healthy and good thing…
I leaned over to my husband and said, “sweetie, I need you to always love me the most, because one day I know he won’t.” My sweet husband said, “sweetie. I will always love you…”
I snuggled back into my boys comfortably and I tried to remember a time before my husband when I felt really truly loved. Honestly, there were some seasons in my life that I questioned this. Then, an almost audible voice rang in my head that said, “I have always loved you. This feeling you have now for your son. I love you this much.” And, in my memory, I could remember all the times that in His faithfulness, the Lord has drawn near to me. Always in my past, and here in my present does He provide glimpses of his loving kindness and affections toward even me.
There is no greater gift than this.
In Jeremiah 30 and 31, the Lord reveals to Jeremiah his love concerning his people, saying;
…I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
This offers hope, because this love is not only for the mother. It is for everyone who hungers or thirsts for it. There were mother’s days in the past that I felt great sorrow because I felt entitled to all the things I hadn’t yet received in this life as what I thought a reflection of what His love was, and honestly, sometimes I still feel the sorrow of those lost, but the truth is, God’s love was always there for my taking.
If you are thirsty today. Come. For the woman who wants a child more than anything, come. For the mother who has lost her child, come. For the woman who has lost her mother, come...
There is an everlasting and overwhelming love that brings peace and comfort to the most weary of souls. His name is Jesus.